a tribute to you

it's feels like forever since we talked. it must be a couple a few years since that walk. somehow we knew it all would change. your heart was empty and mine was filled with hurt. now i look back and wonder. how did it get to this? would we take it all back? before that fatal moment our hearts decided to love again.

it all started that night we kissed. it was my big celebration night. you looked like a vision in the red dress. we came out of the city on that saturday night. after vodkas, red bulls and champagne. it felt as if i would never be alone again. we sat down staring out at the world. we spoke about things hidden in corners far away. things we never thought would surface again. i never thought it would end up like this. but now all that talk lies shattered. and the time has come to move on.

it has been so long. if we could would we take it back? all the words we spoke and all the promises we made? were we just naive. or were we honest? i sometimes feel it was better before we met. i remember the night we stayed up till late and eventually spoke all through the night. the nights we sat on the porch watching the sun go down over the valley. we were happy in those days. i would probably do it again. take the joys and the pain. and wait till daybreak waking up next to you. it felt then that i had not much to lose but so much to gain.

i would scream but would you hear me? i wonder where you are in this world. i wonder if you are thinking of me too. cos i don't wanna be the only one missing you. the memories of you keeps me awake. i would sit up in bed thinking of our days in the sun. running with the dogs and the rain. i sometimes hear the phone ringing hoping it would be you. the bliss of hearing you voice on the other side. the thought of you being mine forever. i would have your name tattooed across my heart. i would wake up with you for eternity. but it was not to be. who would have said that we would end up like this.

this is a tribute to you. you changed my heart. through the pain i still feel the joy. i still hear your laughter and feel the wetness of your tears. that regretful day. i would have gone down on my knee and changed our worlds forever. but it was not to be. it has made me the man i am. i just wish it could have been different.