the sites in barca

gaudi (i dont like it much)

dali - the mad man

gaudi

a view from the top

another view from the top

more pics from barca

portugese prick

tapas

all the kids together: jp, clara, nuno and madame coralie

vega "freaking" sicilia man!!!!

pretty couple in pink

pics from barca

nuno and i enjoy the fruit of the vine

a lighter moment shared between friends

VEGA SICILIA 1995

at work (always at my post!)

preparing the feast

have i come full circle?

This was the question that got stuck in my head yesterday as I made the train journey back from Barcelona to Montpellier. Have I come full circle? The last time I went to Barcelona I got robbed of everything that was precious to me. But as the train rolled on slowly there where many more thoughts that passed through my mind. I was not just the fact that I laid the ghost to rest. There was something else. Other things.

The first thing was the fear of not seeing my friends as often as I would like when I eventually return to wherever it is I am going next. Seeing Nuno and Clara in Barcelona, plus the conversation with Joe and seeing Maria, Angelique and Marco made me realise how fast things change. All the people that have played a role in one way or another in the past year. Seeing them again felt like completing a full circle. Watching the small towns go by took me back to some of my early days in France, before I meet all the people mentioned above - when I was still seeing the south with friends from the language school. People like Sanna and Nathalie. It was like returning to all the happy memories. The faces and places of people of the last year - perhaps another glimpse of a reflection.
Perhaps this is not the place to write down all that happened in the past year. The highlights of Montpellier. The endless summer. Champagne. Weekends away in London and Paris. But for a moment on the train yesterday the last 18 months flashed by and I could not help to sit and wonder about it all. It scares me to think that I have spent more time here compared to the time that is left of this incredible journey. People ask me if I don’t miss home. But I think to myself – where is home? Because the world has become my playground. From the hills of Tuscany to the plains in Champagne; the corner cafes of France and the waiting in transit on my way somewhere or returning from some place; From hotels and guest houses to the simplicity of my apartment in Montpellier.
I guess that way I love trains and the solitude of travelling on them. It feels as if time stands still for a while and you are given the opportunity to reflect on days and months gone by. All your sins and mistakes surface. You reflect on missed and fumbled chances. You ponder about broken hearts and misunderstandings. You consider the diagnosis of good fortune and lesser chance. You analyse and interrogate. You try to connect the dots and blot out the sun. Trying to make sense of it all. Smiling about weekends in Paris; smiling about that day in the sun in Collioure; the scooter and sunsets in San Torini. It all has come full circle indeed.
I feel as if I am coming closer to the end of an important chapter. And the prospects of the next chapter look peachy. Somewhere inside of me there is an echo of significance. A pushing; a pulling forward; a drive to pursue and investigate; to leave no stone unturned. I struggle to hide the excitement in me. As if the Fountain within has reached maximum pressure and the waters are about the spring forth. All I can do now is to turn back unto the Highway and follow the signs pointing North. The time of reflection has passed…and the time to write another chapter as come.
So the answer must be yes. I have come full circle. But in so many more ways than one…still loving life; still following the call that is my Heart; still answering to the Name that is mine and now reaching out towards the Desire. There is no substitute for living passionately.

mat kearney

do yourself a favour and get your hands on this album.

give barca another chance

they say the only way to overcome your fears is to do the very thing you fear most. if your are afraid of hights you have to climb or jump for somewhere high up. if you are afraid of narrow spaces spend a couple of days in a submarine. or in my case if you have been robbed in barcelona a year ago go back and faces the music. so thats what i am going to do this weekend. me and some of my best friends are having a reunion in barcelona. nuno is flying in from italy. clara is coming from madrid while jp, coralie and myself will make the journey down to barca by train. i have to say i am excited for more than the obvious reason of re-writing my barcelona history. i havent seen nuno and clara in a long time...well since the endless summer. it will be like meeting up with family. and so many things have change since and will be looking forward to hear all the news and stories. as for the barca ghost....well, we will have to wait and see. but this time i am not taking anything of value with me except myself! everybody always says how great city it is and due to my bad experience last year i really want to put the ghost to bed. bad things happen to good people and i can not blame the city for that. it would not be fair. so i have an expectation to go and see the real barca...eating crazy food, drinking good wine and dancing with friends till early morning. bring it on!

a touch a reality

after lots of serious posts i have decided to just give you a run down of what has been happening down here in the south of france. well for one the climate has changed and it has been cold and stormy for the last two weeks or so. crazy as it may seem but it was even colder here than in london seeing that i spent a couple of days there last week with my family. it was good to see my parents for the first time in a year. it took my mother about five or six second to recognise her youngest. i think she was more surprised than anything else. they did not know i was coming. nothing like the element of surprise. my parents are on the back of their european tour for this year and after spending time in portugal italy germany france and england i think they are looking forward to going back home on wednesday. none the less it was special catching up with them. many things change and the year has been long. for all of us i guess. back in france the classes are slowly squeezing the originality and spontaneity out of me. too much of the same and for too long. perhaps my brain is not use to this sort of long hours anymore. or perhaps i should blame the endless summer. i have always been someone that needs to be stimulated intellectually. perhaps the monotonous lecturing is getting the better of me. or perhaps because i see my subject and passion of wine and vineyard as more than just rigorous information. however it is still a blast down south and i am already starting to feel the sadness creeping in of having to leave this wonderful oasis in less than six months. time has gone by way to fast and i struggle to think what the future holds. so many oppotunities that await me. so many things still uncertain. tomorrow i will have a meeting with my tutor to decide on my fate for a big part of next year. i have to do research and then write a thesis. so again the options are endless and so are the destinations. america has come up as a good option but then again...then there is spain and italy. or even the southern hemisphere. but i would perfer to stay in europe. dont really know why. i guess i have become accustomed to the lifestyle here. i enjoy the european lifestyle. but i know its not to everybodys liking. perhaps being in europe does not limit your options to explore as much as it would being somewhere else. i dont know. there are a lot of things unclear and only time will tell. thats the fun of life. not knowing it all. so watch this space for further developments....all i can do is set my sails and follow my true North. It the only Way that makes sense and just look how well it has served me thus far.