crazy

In a church full of faces. He talks about the people going under. Only a child knows... A man decides after seventy years that what he goes there for is to unlock the door. While those around him criticize and sleep. Then through a fractal on a breaking wall I see you my friend and touch your face again. Miracles will happen as we trip. But we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy. No we're never gonna survive unless we are a little crazy. Yellow people walking through my head. One of them's got a gun to shoot the other one. Yet together they were friends at school. If all were there when we first took the pill then maybe, maybe thing could have been different. In a sky full of people only some want to fly. Isn't that crazy? In a world full of people, only some want to fly. Crazy. In a heaven of people there's only some that want to fly. But we're never gonna survive unless, we get a little crazy. And then you see things. The size of which you've never known before. They'll break it before they make it someday. Only a child knows.... Them things the size of which you've never known before someday. Someway. When we get crazy.

words (modified): by seal

the man who can't be moved

Going back to the corner where I first saw you. Gonna camp in my sleeping bag. I'm not gonna move. Got some words on cardboard got your picture in my hand. Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am. Some try to hand me money they don't understand. I'm not...broke I'm just a broken hearted man. I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do. How can I move on when I'm still in love with you...Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me. And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be. Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet. And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street. So I'm not moving...I'm not moving. Policeman says son you can't stay here. I said there's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year. Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows. If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go. Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me. And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be. Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet. And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street. So I'm not moving....People talk about the guy who's waiting on a girl. There are no holes in his shoes. But a big hole in his world...and maybe I'll get famous as man who can't be moved. And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news. And you'll come running to the corner...Cos you'll know it's just for you. I'm the man who can't be moved... Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me. And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be. Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet. And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street. So I'm not moving. Going back to the corner where I first saw you. Gonna camp in my sleeping bag and I'm not gonna move.

lyrics from: the script

untouchable

through wind and rain i got to where i am. now i am flying without any fear. i have been doing pain for so long. but now i stare in the mirror and it is all gone. through wind and rain i burn bright. i have learnt to fly through flames while holding on tight. there are so many ways to go wrong. but when i look in i the mirror they are all gone. in my dreams it feels like i am standing tall. when you are not around i feel untouchable. in my dreams it feels like i will never fall again. i am safe and sound and remain untouchable. it is only real when you are not around. i am walking in the rain while the sun goes down. and i realise that only love can save me now. i do not need you hear to show me how.

i believe that love can not be that hard. sometimes i am standing in the dark here but soon it will light up everywhere i go. i know my heart should not beat so hard. sometimes my mind is like an ocean full of sharks. but soon i will be safe and out the cold. in my dreams it feels like i am standing tall. when you are not around i feel untouchable. in my dreams it feels like i will never fall again. i am safe and sound and remain untouchable. it is only real when you are not around. the candle in my hand is at the end of its burning. but i know that love should not be so hard. but standing in the dark must have an end.

they wait for me at the door. everybody is hunting me down. without any meaning or reason. they want to skin me to the bone. like beautiful robots dancing around. and when they leave i will still be alone. they wait at the door but i stand tall. in my dreams it feels like i am ready to fall. when you are not around i feel untouchable. in my dreams it feels like i will never return. i am safe and sound and remain untouchable.

a great man once said....

• "A man can be destroyed but not defeated..."
• "An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools..."
• "Courage is grace under pressure...."
• "Cowardice... is almost always simply a lack of ability to suspend functioning of the imagination..."
• " Every man's life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another..."
• "Never confuse movement with action..."
• "Never go on trips with anyone you do not love..."
• "The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to simply trust them..."
• "The man who has begun to live more seriously within begins to live more simply without..."
• "In order to write about life, first you must live it..."
• "il faut d'abord durer..." meaning "first one must endure..."

...a great man - Ernest Hemingway

numb

I'm tired of being what you want me to be

Feeling so faithless lost under the surface

Don't know what you're expecting of me

Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

Every step that I take is another mistake to you

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

I've become so numb I can't feel you there

Become so tired so much more aware

I'm becoming this all I want to do

Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me

Holding too tightly afraid to lose control

Cause everything that you thought I would be

Has fallen apart right in front of you

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

Every step that I take is another mistake to you

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

And every second I waste is more than I can take

I've become so numb I can't feel you there

Become so tired so much more aware

I'm becoming this all I want to do

Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know

I may end up failing too

But I know

You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there

Become so tired so much more aware

I'm becoming this all I want to do

Is be more like me and be less like you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there

I'm tired of being what you want me to be

I've become so numb I can't feel you there

I'm tired of being what you want me to be

words:Linkin Park

half empty or half full

Is your glass half empty or half full? A question I keep on asking myself over and over the last couple of months. Why do I love wine so much? What is it about this perfected essence of life that prickles my senses in so many ways that it makes the hair on my back stand up? To many people unfortunately only a way to escape the troubles of everyday reality by over-indulgence for which this art work has never been destined for. A shame really. A notion I strongly and openly oppose. What a waste and a bad show window for future purists. So why wine? Well I like to think of wine as a living being. That has a beginning and an end. A life of puberty. Adolescences. Difficult student life perhaps. Then growing up and maturing till you reach a stage where it goes downhill very quickly from there. I like to think of its upbringing in the vineyards and about the people that cared for the grapes. The circumstances it had to face ranging from extreme heat to cold windy and even icy conditions. Fighting and beating all the odds to produces perfect grapes for yet another grand millesime. And afterwards how it evolves into excellence. Whether you keep it for two years or twenty, it has its peak. To follow the development is like watching a child grow up. Until that day when you finally pull the cork and the harmony of nature is revealed. The imagination of winemaker meets consumer. Appreciation of consumer rewards the collective efforts of viticulturist and oenologist together with what nature has given them that year regarding soil and climate. How they shaped and moulded those grapes into perfection. A job well done. Next time you take a sip keep in mind the slog and toil. And I guess that is the answer. Wine releases a sense of belonging in me. It brings about a sense of contentment just thinking or speaking about it. I like the way wine makes me think about things. About life. Always half full please.

its own heartbeat

What is it about wine people often ask me. Well my philosophy has always been that to be able to appreciate the wine you have to understand where it comes from; who made it and for what reason. This is one of the reasons why I have spent my time travelling around to see the places where the wines are made. Where the grapes are grown; to see the orientation of the grapes towards the sun; the distance from the sea; the slope and inclination of the hills and mountains…They all carry an effect on the final product. The best way after all to understand each wine you taste is to see it place of birth. I find immense pleasure to stand in the vineyard with the winemaker while he explains the influences of his terroir while the sun is beating down on my back and the gentle breeze is blowing across my face. To see the pride he takes in his work. I believe that true winemakers are some of the more passionate people you will find on earth. Now add some hardship and triumph to the mix and you have yourself a bomb for passionate conversation, festivities and conviviality. I have been from the smallest and simplest producers to the most prestigious and expensive. I have been honoured to have been able to taste wine has been unmatched. To conclude - it is my passion to taste the wines. But it is not just about the wines. It’s understanding what goes into it; the place; the people; the winemaker and his family; their history. It all blends together and give every wine a personality of its own. Whether big or small, cheap or expensive - every wine has its own heartbeat.

quality

I think the most debated topic concerning wine must be the question of quality. So I will briefly try to give my opinion on the matter by putting forward my general mindset and the way I like to think about it. Then I want you to go and form your own opinion. However, remember that there is always a flip side to the coin. There is a place for every one in the sun. I believe that quality, like beauty, lies in the eye of the beholder…in our case, in the mouth, nose and senses of the taster. After all, drinking and tasting wine in a “full-on” experience of all senses combining. And that is the essence of my argument. That enjoying wine is not reserved for a French “oenologue” or a British wine critic. On the contrary – it is for the people. So to get to heart of the matter – quality – you have to remove the false stigma and pretence that comes with enjoying the sweet nectar of the grape. I always say that most important thing to ask a consumer is whether or not he/she enjoys the wine. If they do, then we have quality right there! Cos at the end of the day it is not the competitions of Paris, Brussels or London that decide which wine is the best. NO! It’s you the consumer. Your vote is most important. Quality more often than not is linked to the context in which the wine is consumed, with who and the pleasure it brings. To illustrate this point I can honestly say that I have often tasted the same wine but in different contexts – with friends, in competitions or even in its rawest from in the cellar. And very seldom have I attached the same “quality” to the exact same product. I think “quality” should be divided into different terms such as drinking-pleasure; value-for-money; terroir-expression; etc. And because we all search for something different in the same wine how is it possible or how can it be expected of us to have the same quality barometer? Therefore - You are your own “quality” and don’t allow anyone to tell you otherwise.

a twist of champers

too much of anything is bad

but too much Champagne is just right!

----- Scott Fitzgerald

one holds a bottle of red wine by the neck

a woman by the waist

and a bottle of Champagne by the "derriere"

----- Mark Twain

three be the things I shall never attain:

envy

contentment

....and sufficient Champagne.

----- Dorothy Parker

Champagne makes you feel like it’s sunday and better days are just around the corner.

----- Marlene Dietrich

Champagne is the only wine that leaves a woman beautiful after drinking it.

----- madame De Pompadour

there comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne. ----- Bette Davis

the feeling of friendship is like that of being comfortably filled with roast beef

love is like being enlivened with Champagne.

----- Samuel Johnson

in a perfect world, everyone would have a glass of Champagne every evening.

----- Willie Gluckstern

why do I drink Champagne for breakfast? doesn't everyone?

----- Noel Coward

the art of living

wine is my passion

its my family and friends

its warmth of heart

its generosity of spirit

wine is art

its culture

its the essence of civilization

its the art of living

----ROBERT MONDAVI

the essence of wine

(according to the definition below, i think i might fit the profile!)

to make a great wine one needs:
a madman to grow the vine;
a wise man to watch over it;
a lucid poet to make the wine;
and a lover to drink it!
- Dali

wine wisdom

a healthy appetite, good humour and a big thirst!

the great auberon waugh once uttered the following piece of wisdom concerning wine:

"a wine-writer should never like a wine -

he should be in love with it.

never find a wine disappointing -

but identify it as a moral enemy;

an attempt to poison him.

bizarre and improbable side tastes should be proclaimed -

mushrooms, rotting wood, black treacle, burned pencils, condensed milk, sewage, the smell of French railway stations or ladies’ underwear."

the father of the rhone, michel chapoutier, once said:

“if you think too much about wine and the drinking there of you can kill it. the brain is a pleasure killer."

wise uncle william s in othello proclaimed:

"good wine is a good familiar creature if it be well used"

some french guy having a better moment:

"here's to the corkscrew - a useful key to unlock the storehouse of wit, the treasury of laughter, the front door of fellowship, and the gate of pleasant folly"

jerome k in his infinite wisdom proclaimed:

"let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need;

a homely home and simple pleasures;

one or two friends worth the name;

someone to love and someone to love you;

a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two;

enough to eat and enough to wear;

and a little more than enough to drink;

for thirst is a dangerous thing"

a legend in his own way, ernst hemingway said:

"wine is one of the most civilized things in the world and one of the most natural things of the world that has been brought to the greatest perfection, and it offers a greater range for enjoyment and appreciation than, possibly, any other purely sensory thing."

wycherly in the country life was quoted:

"wine gives us liberty, love takes it away.

wine makes us princes, love leaves us beggars."

martin luther:

"he who loves not wine, women and song remains a fool his whole life long."

secrets

looking out over the empty streets. there is not much to see. the mist and the fog have risen out of the sea. though in his mind he can still see. all the dreams once made solid. all the dreams once made real. all of those buildings. dark and empty now. what was once a hub and a buzz. now just a shell of nothingness. all of the cars. it was once the dream. now just a memory in somebodys head. he pictures the broken glass. pictures the steam. he imagines the boats coming in. the talk in the harbour when the men returned. he pictures the soul of what was. now a forgotten bay with a big leak at the seam. lets take the boat out. until darkness comes. nowhere on the horison. only pale colours of green and grey. nothing in the suburbs. emptiness is the cold light of day. there in the midst of it so alive and alone. his words giving support to the thoughts rumbling inside his head. dreaming of empty streets. wear your inside out for them to see. dreaming. in her arms again. have they moved that sign around his heart. still dreaming. dreaming of her. pulling out the snap shot of her years ago. his heart skips. tugging at the darkness. beat upon beat. confession of all the secret things. to a priest. to a doctor. can they handle the shock. or should he just lie down in the warm velvet box. he trembles. he remembers kissing her lips. with her father out in his boat. riding the water. riding the waves on the sea. now it is empty. the streets. the harbour. his heart. his mind. only the secrets remain. out in the streets. they laugh at him. they tease him. his secrets. yes. secrets.

u dont have to be shy

baby slow down. whats the rush. where are we running to. remember the end is never as much fun as the beginning. please lets not grow up. let us not spoil it. stay a child. for my sake. i know it is hidden somewhere in your heart. i want to give you everything you want. whatever it might be. wherever it might be. i dont care how far i have to go to find it. i will. you are the first one of your kind. and probably the last. will there ver be another. with you it feels like with no-one before. your smell. your touch. you steal my heart with every word you speak. and i want you some more. i want all of what you got. i want nothing that you're not. everywhere you go people stop and stare. they turn around to look some more. but i want to be the only one. you dont have to be shy about it. some things you just have to accept. things that is not worth fighting. you just get too good at it. like smiling. or crying. or laughing. people like you have far too much confidence. but they are always alone. they always hide behind a mask. or a wall. come on now. you dont have to be shy about it. and dont try to be brave. show me your soul. you've been keeping your heart under control. but it is time to let go. to forget and live.

sometimes you cant make it on your own

i was just chilling by myself at home. writting in my journal. and this song by U2 came up on the ipod. and it brought back so many good memories. i sat there in utter contentment and just smiled thinking - what a freaking life i have! bono wrote this song for his dad. about what his dad gave him as a little boy. and it got me thinking how lucky we are - those of us with superdads. i know i am surely one of the lucky ones. this is to all the dads out there!

Tough, you think you've got the stuff
You're telling me and anyone
You're hard enough

You don't have to put up a fight
You don't have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

We fight all the time
You and I... that's alright
We're the same soul
I don't need... I don't need to hear you say
That if we weren't so alike
You'd like me a whole lot more

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

I know that we don't talk
I'm sick of it all
Can you hear me when I sing,
You're the reason I sing
You're the reason why the opera is in me

Where are we now?
I've got to let you know
A house still doesn't make a home
Don't leave me here alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
Sometimes you can't make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

find me

it is all around me now. this feeling inside. so i am taking a hold of it. it is hidden in the words. it sometimes doesn't feel enough. other days it suffocates me. it's building up. one day it leaves me feeling weak. other days i can' be strong enough to take it all in. i need one more day. just one more day. or else my world will crash. give me time. more time so that i can take it. don't allow the world to come crashing down around me. i thought it might be indestructible. then reality took a hold of me. sometimes i find it hard. even if my reason is good enough. i'll stand and fight for this. i will keep my head up high. never did i plan to leave through it all of this. i trust in faith to bring a way. for me alone it would be impossible. would it be possible to find me. i keep looking over my shoulder. i'll be here. standing there. it remains all around me now. so i take a hold. and my faith brings the way. to the impossible. only one more day. to find me. you found me. one day. you can find me anywhere.

open wounds

i am in the dark with my music on. i wish though that i was somewhere else. somewhere safe. why did you take out all your anger on me. why did you make me feel this way. why did you break me down. why did you betray me. why did you break my trust. why did you walk away from this. i cried out. to somebody. anybody to help. but they let me rot all by myself. alone. and now i am fighting. i am not giving in to this war you left inside. time to get out. so i am out of here. i am not coming back. cos i am falling apart. and my self distruction is all your fault. now everything is about to change. cos i have made the decision. yes. i was never good enough. but now it does not matter anymore. cos i am getting out. there is one hand that reached down. so dont expect me to call. dont expect me to stay. how could you hate me. all i did was wanting to succeed. how can you say that you loved me when all you left me with was open wounds.

the story of us

the moment changed after the first kiss. then came the tears. and i was the one on the receiving end. she was warm at first. but afterwards the coldness of her heart was overwhelming. perhaps my spectacles with lenses of fear made me see that. i thought it would last forever. i thought we would circle the sun. conquer the moon. but then i had to travel alone. i had to journey by myself. discover and seek. as a stranger at a lonely table. a bottle of wine only drunk halfway. all by myself. all it left me was a empty road of memories. memories by myself. but there were good times and happy moments. but the loneliness and emptiness kept grinding me down. it made me look over my shoulder to many times. every day i would see her face in a reflection of a window and then snap around. desperate to be us again. but it was never to be. it left me sad and hollow. some days even frustrated and angry. but i would not trade those moments with her for anything. those sunny days. all those rainy nights. i never realised that one can carry these emotions with you for so long. but you can. it burns on your inside. eating away. it leaves me dreaming of yesterday. it helps me crave the early mornings dew of tomorrow and the rising sun. but there is something i cant get away from. your soul intertwined with mine. your heartbeat syncronised with everything i do. i drives me crazy. i leaves me screaming. but i know oneday we will be us again. we will walk those walks. sand between our toes. sun on our faces. wind in our hair. cos i believe in us. the beauty of our uniqueness. the passion and joy that stirs us. the season might not be now. but the season is coming. the time is not yet. but it will be. and soon. soon it will be time for us. you. me. us.

inside these walls

do you recall the walls i built. i am thinking of knocking them down. i dont think they will even put up a fight. they probably will fall without any resistance. so i am letting you know that i have found a way to let you in. but i never really had a doubt. i was just scared. i was unsure and synical. afraid of losing the edge. afraid of having to give up myself. but now i am standing in your light. and i am ready. ready to let you in. i feels as if i have found an angel. it is as if i have been awakened. it is time to break every rule i have ever set up to protect myself. i know i am risking everything i ever worked for. but it is time. i do not want to leave you out in the dark. everything around me reminds me of you. and i think to myself. why has it taken so long. why have i locked you out all this time. when all i want is you inside these walls of mine. all i want is your walls around me. its your light that draws me. it burns away all the history. all the darkness. all the things that i carry with me. so unnecessary. i can see that now. i never want to return to this darness. i want to stay in your light. in your embrace. i never want to slide back into the great escape i created for myself. cos inside these walls i have always been alone. inside these walls is a valley of deceat. of lies. of loneliness. of confusion. of deception. but it is time to allow you inside these walls. yes. inside these walls.

bubbling over

most of my friends know that i am a fan of good wine and a great fan of champagne and sparkling wines. in fact i have spent most of the last three years of my life trying to taste as many wines as possible to find the perfect wine...with a biased opinion extending into the wines with bubbles. i tried to calculate the other day how many wines i have tasted over this period. and it came close to a total of something like 3000 wines if i look at all my notes and scribbles. and among them were some of the top and most expenseive wines in europe. a truely memorable and honouring experience. to select the best would be silly. i would have to categorise them and that will take months. but i thought i would off the top of my head rate my favourite/top bubblies tasted in recent times. i am sure there will still be many in the future. and i am looking forward to increase my muselet collection...

...so in no particular order:

1. ridgeview bloomsbury



2. louis roederer brut premier



3. jean vesselle cuvee prestige 1991 magnum



4. billecart-salmon nv rose

5. bollinger grande annee 1988 magnum

bubbles with nobility

i just spent a day of total bliss in the english wine areas south of london. starting in surrey. traveling east towards sussex and finishing up in kent. and with the english sun entertaining us once again with temperatures in the high twenties it was a superb day to be out sorcing wines and searching for wines of noble birth. the english have never be recognised as a wine producing country per se. but i beg to differ. especially after one visit in particular today. i mighty not agree with some of the cultivars that are planted. most of them german and very aromatic. i dont see these cultivars making big waves. however. the english certainly have something to offer in the bubbly sector. and it is here where i tasted a piece of heaven today. at a small family owned estate in a small village called dithcling common in sussex called ridgeview wine estate. winemaker simon roberts was kind enough to squeeze us into his busy schedule. and we joyfully tasted through his range of bubblies with him. the sublime flavours and finesse that his wines expressed was phenomenal. the elegance and freshness was apparent. while the diversity in his range was exquisite. i truely salute his craftsmanship and having spent the last three years of my life tasting the top bubblies around the world his efforts rate in my top 5. so to simon and his team - a heartly congratulations. if you are ever down in the that neck of the woods do yourself a favour and stop for a taste of magic at ridgeview. for the rest of the english wines. i have tasted some interesting wines. a lot of pleasant aromas. but i am still not as impressed by the still wines as i have been by the standard of english sparkling wine...and in particular ridgeview. i am not surprised that the french president recently on a visit to britian mistook the heavenly bubbles of ditchling with their own from hautvillers...