cry the beloved country

it has been a few weeks since i have returned to my home country after a couple of years abroad. and the feeling has been surreal. it has been a quiet homecoming. but i prefer it that way. i realise that the more things change the more they stay the same. things have moved on. have become more expensive. people have become more selfish. but my optimism still remains. the time has come for me to give back. and i do so gladly. to friends. to strangers. to anybody willing to receive or listen. time is precious. and we forget that too often. life flashes by in the blink of an eye and then there is no tomorrow. but i would like to change that. i would like to live with greater passion. for my people. and for my country.

direction

if you don't know where you are going...any road...will get you there!

celebrated, not tolerated

who will ever see

can anybody really know

the sound of my beating heart

the cries of my thirsty soul

not be be famous

but to be known

not to be successful

but significant

will they acknowledge

understand that i am different

embrace the difficulty they face

to make sense of it all

excitement turns into frustration

frustration becomes emotion

emotion reflects regret

regret the key that locks a heart

celebrated, not tolerated

broken

the broken clock is a comfort

it helps me sleep tonight

maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time

i am here still waiting though

i still have my doubts

i am damaged at best

like You've already figured out

i'm falling apart

i'm barely breathing

with a broken heart

that's still beating

in the pain there is healing

in Your name i find meaning

the broken locks were a warning

You got inside my head

i tried my best to be guarded

i'm an open book instead

and i still see Your reflection inside of my eyes

that are looking for purpose

they're still looking for life

i'm falling apart

i'm barely breathing

with a broken heart

that's still beating

in the pain is the healing

in Your name i find meaning

the broken lights on the freeway

left me here alone

i may have lost my way now

having forgot my way home

i'm falling apart

i'm barely breathing

with a broken heart

that's still beating

in the pain is there is healing

in Your name I find meaning

so i'm holdin' on
i'm holdin' on
i'm holdin' on
i'm barely holdin' on to You
i'm hangin' on
another day
just to see what You will throw my way
and i'm hangin' on
to the words You say
You said that i will
will be ok

lyrics by: lifehouse

an inspired joy

some days

some days i am inspired

a crazy fundamentalist

a ready-to-be historymaker

then those other days

other days i am apathetic

sapped and drained

empty and motionless

i am not moody

i am trying to be real

and thats the way the wind blows

or other might say

thats how i roll

never-the-less

i am not phased

cos self-knowledge is silver

emtional intelligence is golden

i want to live the moment

i want to dwell in the past

to swallow up the history

and wait eagerly

for the joys of the new morning

i will look to the future

and bath in the luxury

of having not been there yet

but for now

i am living the moment

taking it one step at a time

not over-thinking it

just living it

expressing it

chewing it

and spitting it out

some days i am indifferent

they are few and far between

because most days

most days i am smiling

inside and out

my face knows my heart

with a sense of belonging

an inspired joy

not me

searching to live right. story of my life. but it keeps avoiding me. inspired in my soul. but it sometimes doesn’t seem right. but i really love my own company. i am more than a man. and i deserve more than love. what is the reason for the sky being blue. or the sun going down. why all the clouds keep rolling by or the wind rushing past. i don’t know. is it because i am gone again. it just can't be true. and that is why i am unfaithful. unfaithful to myself. only to myself you hear. and it kills me inside. to know that i am happy to be someone else. i can see myself dying. slowly. dying. i don't want to do this anymore. i don't want to be the reason. the reason for him to die. i die a little more inside. i don't want to hurt anymore. i don't want to take away his life. i don't want to be his murderer. but it is time. to pull the plug. to move on. cos that the call. move on. i will not be left behind. he might. but not me.

you're alright

catch your breath

hit the wall

scream out loud

as you start to crawl

back in your cage

the only place

where they will

leave you alone

cause the weak will seek the weaker

til they've broken them

could you get it back again

would it be the same

fulfillment to their lack of strength at your expense

left you with no defense

they tore it down

and I have felt the same as you

i've felt the same as you

i've felt the same.

locked inside

the only place

where you feel sheltered

where you feel safe

you lost yourself

in your search to find

something else to hide behind

the fearful always preyed upon your confidence

did they see the consequence

when they pushed you around

the arrogant build kingdoms made of the different ones

breaking them 'til they've become just another crown

refuse to feel anything at all

refuse to slip

refuse to fall

can't be weak

can't stand still

you watch your back 'cause no one will

you don't know why they had to go this far

traded your worth for these scars

for your only company

and don't believe the lies

that they have told to you

not one word was true you're alright

you're alright

you're alright

lyrics by: lifehouse