modern psychologists are becoming increasingly aware that "human beings are wired for inter-connectedness". some authors go as far as to suggest that social connectedness is a need as basic as air, water or food. the lack of a sense of social connectedness may result in deprivation that is expressed as social pain, which is to be understood as suffering caused by harm or threat to social connectedness. it is a form of emotional or psychological pain. bereavement, embarrassment, shame and other hurt feelings are types of social pain. people who have or are suffering from social pain tend also to suffer from low self-esteem which sets off a vicious cycle of not being sociable or fun to be with. affected individuals are often seen as brooding, undesirable social partners which compounds the sense of being marginalised and excluded.
(from Conversations with my Sons and Daughters, by Mamphela Ramphele)
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